Tuesday 23rd January 2018
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What is a fact about you that nobody would guess?

anthony weiner

True story: I was once fixed up with Anthony Weiner by a mutual friend. This was pre-scandal, pre-Huma, when he was just a very ambitious Congressman (the mutual friend no longer speaks to him, as you might imagine). The friend threw a dinner party, the sole purpose of which was to get us together. It did not go well. Your turn.

Posted on January 22nd, 2018 39 Comments

Week of requests: On living alone

The #1 weapon in the fight against loneliness

“This may be completely off the mark, but as someone who is recently divorced and living alone at 43, I would love to see a `Best things about living alone’ sort of thing, writes a reader named Jenn. I find this not at all off the mark, Jenn, and imagine you are not alone in the GOACA community. I’ve been on my own since I left my marriage in 2004, which is by now a long time ago. And I don’t give much thought to the fact that I live alone because I am just so busy doing it. And yet sometimes I feel triply marginalized in this culture—I am single, childless, and nearing my mid-50s, and often this makes me feel badly out of step with my friends and even, in certain ways, my family.  But dwelling on that will get a person absolutely nowhere, so I try to focus on the things I like about going through life uncoupled. Like the fact that I can do whatever I choose when I choose to do it, and I never have to cook if I don’t want to. I find that one key to being on your own is to always be open to new friendships, something we naturally just stop doing once we reach a certain age. But, like Jenn, I’m very curious to know: those of you who are single, please share your favorite things about your current life in the comments (and to those of you who are coupled: what do you most miss about being on your own?)

Posted on January 12th, 2018 131 Comments

Week of requests: What was the best thing you spent money on in 2017?

I spend a lot of time in this room

A reader named Dakota suggested that I ask this question of the GOACA community, and I’m very curious to hear your answers. Was it a big-ticket article of clothing that suddenly makes your whole wardrobe come together? A vacation? A visit to the dermatologist for fillers? Your divorce? As for me, the best cash I spent last year, hands down, was on unlimited classes at my yoga studio.

Posted on January 5th, 2018 195 Comments

Off I go

This is the place we rented in San Miguel

OK ladies, I’m out of here until after the New Year; expect me back on the 2nd or the 3rd, depending on how long it takes me to get it together after I return from my trip to Mexico (which I mentioned here; I will be leaving the clogs at home thanks to the many warnings you lodged about the tricky cobblestone streets of San Miguel). I hope you all have the most excellent holidays imaginable, and if this time of year is tough for you, I hope it passes as smoothly as possible and is over before you know it. I’m happy to see batshit 2017 draw to a close, but am so inspired by the many ways in which women have risen up over the course of the past year, and look forward to more of the same moving forward. And on a personal note: I recently noticed that this blog has had over 35,000 comments since it launched back in 2012, and am so grateful to those of you who’ve made this such a lively, happy, deeply supportive environment. You bring me happiness every day. Meanwhile: I’m very curious as to what you are up to during the break, and would love to hear about any and all of your favorite holiday traditions (which I know I’ve asked you before, but I’m curious again).

Posted on December 22nd, 2017 58 Comments

I’m thinking of doing another week of requests

I kicked off 2017 by taking suggestions from the audience, and am considering doing it again. Is there a post you’re itching to see here? Please share in the comments.

Posted on December 21st, 2017 76 Comments

What helps?


A Facebook friend of mine posed this simple two-word question and the thread that followed was epic, so I thought I’d try it here. My answer? Yoga and psychopharmaceuticals.

Posted on December 8th, 2017 94 Comments