Saturday 16th December 2017
You know who you are.
Follow Me

Thursday trifecta

Screen Shot 2016-07-20 at 10.53.18 AM

Today, I’ve chosen to focus on a few items that are regarded as atrocious by men*, but appealing to me. First up: I know that guys deplore caftans, and that many women as well find them impossibly shleppy, but my esteem for them is so great that it’s hard for me to believe that anybody objects to them on any level. Yes, they are shapeless; true, they add bulk. But I feel so pretty and feminine when I’m swanning about in one (because that is one does in a caftan; swans) that I wish they were more widely regarded as appropriate streetwear. I already splurged on a rather divine confection from Two New York, so I can’t quite justify going for this one, but that can’t stop me from dreaming.

Screen Shot 2016-07-20 at 11.11.39 AM

It came as something as a surprise to me to learn that gentlemen object to platforms, and I didn’t quite believe it when my young cousin John informed me of this several years ago. But after having this double and then triple confirmed, I went on to decide I did not care: the ease with which they add a few inches to my height adds hugely to my self-esteem in a way that at least makes me feel more attractive, and if the opposite sex does not see things that way, then that’s a reality I’m willing to live with. The flatform—which is something of a red-haired stepchild of the platform—is not always a personal favorite, but Teva’s quite jolie laide (and surely deeply comfortable) iteration appeals.

Screen Shot 2016-07-20 at 11.41.35 AM

Now here is one that is viewed with almost universal disdain: the drop-crotch trouser. But for those of us who are deeply committed to a slouchy look—and if you know nothing of me, I feel certain you know that—they can’t be beat. For some women, there will always be too many MC Hammer associations ever to give them a shot; I get that. I’ll never get past cowboy boots reminding me of Rodeo Day back in middle school in Texas.  So I won’t push too hard on you to give them a rethink. I will add, though, that they are tops for (real or imagined) fat days.


*And here I realize that I am of course generalizing.

Posted on July 21st, 2016 24 Comments

24 Responses

  1. Dianne says:

    I love caftans-but shorter knee length ones and only as beach wear; I can’t think of any place else that I go to in real life that a caftan would be appropriate.

    I love flatforms so long as they are not to high. The Tevas are very comfortable- I have a pair in black, a pair in white.

    Sorry- drop crotch pants, no way no how. I tried a pair on once and felt like I was wearing a loaded diaper!

    As for what men like or do not like- screw them. I dress for me and no one else. My husband often comments-especially on my baggy, worn in denim cutoffs which he really hates. I wear them every weekend 😉

  2. Meg says:

    For what it’s worth, Aure Atika completely rocked some very elegant caftans in The Night Manager, so that makes me feel like it can be done with the right caftan, lighting, mascara, and Tom Hiddleston.

  3. KimberSam says:

    That black white caftan is magnificent! I buy caftans but never actually wear them, which is unfortunate.

  4. DeDe says:

    Ugh, men can be such hypocrites. When was the last time you saw a dude in a form-fitting dress (with shapewear underneath), eating a cubic butt-ton of bbq and then tottering around in 4″ heels in 943983218 degree heat? Answer: never. Including drag queens, probably. Though my husband had a close friend once who used to wear a wool sweater, wingtips and goldtoes with shorts in the summer heat. That guy was a bona fide genius though (teaching graduate-level neuroscience courses as a college freshman), so the sartorial bar was set pretty low.

  5. Dana D says:


    this connects to the earlier, ask-me-anything post, but I find that I, as a woman, love these clothing items…and as a heterosexual whose male partners have always believed I am a lesbian-waiting-to-happen, I find myself absolutely smitten when I come upon an attractive woman wearing clothing such as pictured.

    And I do not rule out the possibility that I might one day “fall in love” with a woman…(but she might have to wear flowing caftans and want to borrow my platform Tevas…)

    So here is my question, to who do you, Kim, find yourself attracted these days?

  6. c.w. says:

    I love, love, love caftans. I do not own a single one.

    Go flatforms!

    Because I am short I do not wear drop-crotch only because I can’t stand looking in the mirror and seeing legs that are only two inches long.

    I also wear cowboys boots in the winter so who am I to talk.

    And one of the many pleasures of turning fifty, then sixty and shortly sixty-five is I do not give a flying @#$% what anyone else (particularly of the male persuasion) thinks about what I am wearing.

  7. StillWannaBeWinona says:

    I own four caftans, all purchased within the last few months, and I wear them constantly. They are perfect on a plane. (Unlike many of you, I do not get the cold on a plane, and anyway one can put on a cardigan and wear slippers.) I wear them on the street for brief walks around my neighborhood but I haven’t really worn any of them out for an extended period, but I might just start because, well, screw it. It’s hot and the breeziness of the caftan just feels right.

    • KimberSam says:

      You are my hero. I REALLY need to actually wear one of my caftans. I own 7. Do you wear them with leggings or bare legs?

  8. sarah jones says:

    Merv Griffin loved caftans!

  9. sarah jones says:

    I recently bought a really good one at H&M, with cute tassels and of nice quality. The best part is the little adjustable waist-tie, to turn down the volume. A good, inexpensive entry-level option.

  10. Debra K says:

    When men stop wearing Hawaiian print shirts, Top Siders and cargo shorts – oh wait, that will be never…

  11. Mary Alice says:

    I hate caftans. On me, not others. On the right person they look elegant. They turn me into Mrs. Roper.
    I love the sandals!
    Drop crotch? Never. I hate them on myself and others. Loaded diaper is what come to mind.
    Who cares what men (or anyone) thinks? Wear what you love and be confident. If drop crotch trousers rock your world, well, I say, wear ’em with pride!

  12. Viajera says:

    I agree with everyone on this. If a man I like is willing to drive me door to door, I will wear whatever shoe he likes. (Really though, I think just putting on the CFMs briefly at home ought to do it.) It is the *driving* I am super picky about. If he doesn’t drive the way I like, I’m going to have to do it, or we meet there.

    If I am walking or otherwise need to be functional, well then. I like platforms for comfort but also bc my feet don’t get as dirty. Flying dust is the culprit. I prefer ones that are not quite flat, but those are cute anyway.

    On the drop crotch: what is the objection to just wearing loose pants? Aren’t they just as comfortable? Bc those are much less visually objectionable, imho. Still, you should wear what makes you happy.

    I aspire to caftans. May go snoop H&M now.

  13. Darla says:

    I love caftans and wear them often, but I do think one has to follow the rule that you must be within site of water.
    I also love platforms, but don’t wear them as I find I can’t walk in them.
    I haven’t tried the drop crotch, but have been know to wear a harem pant and pull it off (if only in my own mind.)
    Never ask a man what he likes. If you wear what feels good to you, you’ll pull it off.

    • MariaO says:

      Oh, no to that rule, as I am in the midwest and far from water. Caftans can be worn inland as well, properly on one’s porch, deck, or patio, drink in hand.

  14. Hillary says:

    You had me at caftan. On a day when I’m cleaning out my closet, alone. (Which is quite possibly a bad idea…)
    I possess far too many things that are way too close to my body. My skin needs space!
    Sexy is on the inside. Especially in fabulous Genie pants.
    Thank you.

  15. gablesgirl says:

    I wear beach caftans with shorts all summer. It works! Wear clothes for you not someone else. Especially men.

  16. Mimi says:

    Every stylish woman has a list of man repelling items that she enjoys wearing. Caftans are a no-go for me. I don’t do shapeless. But I like some drop crotch pants, especially with a snug top. A drop crotch pant can be close to the body at the waist or hips and sometimes the rear view is ok. But I feel no need to defend them, nor should caftan lovers have to justify their choice. Each to her own.

  17. Susanna says:

    Now wait a minute. I have a slight caftan habit, and I’ve never worried that I shouldn’t wear them when not at the beach. 90+ degrees with high humidity in Manhattan? I am so not wearing anything *other* than a caftan, or at least my collection of, um, sack dresses. Admittedly, I have put on a few pounds in the last six months, but I would wear them regardless. Especially since you, Kim, are responsible for introducing me to Emerson Fry!

  18. I just dipped my toe in the caftan pool with a black/white printed Loft Beach caftan, thanks to your caftan love/blog posts.

    I sorta dig the sandals. I can understand their utility.

    No to the drop crotch. Casual style are for fat days.

  19. Raina says:

    Kim, My love for you just grew exponentially.

  20. Hick from Styx says:

    Mrs. Roper wore a caftan, and so did Maude. Groovy!