Tuesday 23rd January 2018
You know who you are.
Follow Me

Friday links

soviet textiles2

  • Of course I am flipping out over these amazing Soviet textiles. (Dangerous Minds)
  • An amusing roundup of the 25 best characters on TV right now. (EW)
  • This university president cut his own salary so that other campus employees could make a living wage, which is pretty cool. (Time)
  • Larry David is headed to the great white way.
  • And here I am, holding forth—pretty confessionally for me—on turning 50. (Today)


Posted on August 8th, 2014 38 Comments

38 Responses

  1. Samantha says:

    Wonderful and wise comments about getting older (in your Today Health piece). I struggle with it myself, but your blog always helps me remember that women over 40 are AWESOME!

  2. Erin says:

    Like Samantha I also love your piece in Today Health. I’m going to be turning 40, and I’ve also been struggling with a life that doesn’t look how I expected it would by this time. It’s wonderful to see someone like you talking about that struggle, and encouraging to know that you can get past it. Thank you for being so open about your experiences.

  3. Lori says:

    Love the piece you wrote! “Don’t mourn the life you didn’t get” is my new mantra. Thanks for sharing this.

    • ramonaquimby says:

      agreed– that was something I too really needed to hear, it’s so easy (maybe especially in NYC) to get caught in that trap. Loved the Today piece Kim, really eloquent. Happy birthday.

  4. Dana D says:

    What I admire about you is your courage and your ability to speak the truth about your life without sugar-coating.

    It is inspirational for those of us not in the spotlight to read about women who are striving to be “of a certain age” with dignity and the vulnerability of honesty, who look ahead with optimism and appreciate the wisdom that they’ve earned…

    Thank you!

  5. Daphne says:

    Loved your Today column; I’ve had a similar trajectory and life truly gets so much brighter and better once we stop chasing the life we didn’t get and start making the most of the one we have. Happy birthday to you! (Also, the Soviet textiles are amazing)

  6. Laura says:

    I will be 40 in two weeks, and so I’m thinking a lot about getting older, and the wisdom that accrues, and trying to figure out the next stage of my professional life. (I’m sure you think I’m just a kid, though!) Thanks for being so matter of fact about how sometimes those milestones don’t look like you thought they would, and that’s okay.

  7. LolaB says:

    Kim I love and relate to certain aspects of your article…I am in my mid 40’s and was let go from a job I held for 17 years. I took the summer off to re-evalute and have decided to reinvent myself…starting with school in September I will become a makeup artist…if it makes any sense, the lack of fear i am experiencing actually scares me 🙂 I am sorry for all the turmoil you’ve experienced and so appreciate your honesty and willingness to put it out there. You are an inspiration and further proof to me that sometimes we all just need a kick in the butt even if it hurts.

  8. Stacy says:

    Just so you know I never would have guessed you were 50 based on that selfie you posted the other day. You (and others) are paving the way for people my age (42) to approach aging a lot differently than I use to imagine I would. Thank-you.

  9. AmyM says:

    Wonderful column for Today Health. You write so honestly. I just told a younger friend the other day, “Stop caring so much about what others think of you.” Then remembered that I cared, too, at that age. I feel lucky to have reached the point where it matters so much less.

  10. Laura says:

    Very insightful. I need to figure out how not mourn the life I’m not living. I really like that phrase. Thank you.

  11. Mary Alice says:

    Thank you Kim. That was a wonderful piece. At 55, It’s hard and scary to see my older siblings age, and my friends get older, and to realize that the future doesn’t stretch out to infinity any more. The flip side is that I am learning to enjoy & appreciate the present much more than I ever did.

  12. Vina says:

    Welcome to the “50” club – we are honored to have you as a new member. Rule book will follow, wait there is NO rule book – Hooray!

  13. y.k. says:

    i love what you wrote of course,
    small point-i’ve had alopecia at various points in my life – it’s a unique kind of awful.
    whenever i read your blog i wishthere were more people our age w/ your humour perspective & wisdom.

  14. Teresa says:

    Well said. I turned 50 myself this year and have experienced both the angst and relief of it.

  15. Andrea says:

    Hi Kim: thank you for those wise words. So helpful.

  16. Ann says:

    I loved your article. Perfectly put.

  17. Robbi says:

    You nailed it, Kim!

  18. Beckie says:

    I’ve read and enjoyed your blog for some time now. This is my first time commenting, prompted by your essay on turning 50. Thank you for that admirable, heartfelt, honest assessment. You have created a wonderful community, and I appreciate it, as do so many others. Happy belated birthday.

  19. gablesgirl says:

    Thank you from a middle aged woman staring down 50. I, too have lost hair, been dismissed, had major surgery and am back and better than ever. May I say that youth IS wasted on the young.

  20. Nicole says:

    Your blog is one of my “go to” blogs during the week. Thank you for helping inspire those of us in our 40s with imagining that there are paths less traveled and that independent women with unique vision have a place in this ever-changing world. Excited to read more of your postings..when will you write a book?

  21. Marta says:

    I appreciate most your candor. It is rare to see a person of great success talk about unhappiness in any form. Thank you for sharing those facets of your life with us – it makes us all feel better about the facets of unhappiness in our own, and lets us know that we need not be defined by them.

  22. Dana says:

    Your essay was goose-bumpy good. Only this past year have I started to not “mourn the life I didn’t get” and I haven’t been this happy since my twenties.

  23. MJ says:

    As always, you completely nailed it!
    I have to admit that when the youngsters at my job (can there actually be people born in the 90s’) threw me a bd party and where shocked to learn I was 51 it made me happy. It also (slightly) makes up for all the people who now call me ma’am!

  24. belle says:

    Happy Birthday!
    Thanks for sharing your reassuring and graceful approach to (shudder) aging. It is inevitable, if we’re lucky, right?

  25. KimFrance says:

    Thanks for all of these wonderful comments, guys. They make the lonely work of writing so impossibly worth it!

  26. holly says:

    Kim – Really loved the Today Health piece. As much as I navigate to this site for all it offers, I truly do come here for you.

  27. RebeccaNYC says:

    when you said “envying the young is dangerous business, so whenever I catch myself doing that, I step back for a second and remember the woman I was at 25, at 30, at 40. And I wouldn’t trade her for the person I am now, not for a second.” I got a little shiver. yes. just yes.

  28. c.w. says:

    Loved reading your article on turning fifty. As someone who just had a 63rd b-day I can relate to the excitement/trepidation/knowledge one has as they enter their fiftieth decade. I hope you will find, as I did, the joy and sheer fun of being free from expectations––both those you place upon yourself and those you THINK others have placed on you. There is something pretty amazing about being past that need to win/deserve/desire the approval of others. Every morning I wake up thinking “yippie ki-yi-yay I get to have a wonderful day!”

  29. Lynne says:

    I really enjoyed your article. I turned 53 last month, and actually, 50 wasn’t bad, but this birthday hit hard. 50 seemed like such a milestone and since I have a lot of girlfriends quite a bit older than me, I see how fabulous they are and I wasn’t worried. But now they are all retired and I am still slaving away, so that sucks 🙂

    I think 53 was harder for me as I am marching into my 50’s and life isn’t exactly what I thought it would be, but you need to embrace what you have not what you don’t have. Easier said than done.

  30. Nancy says:

    Kim, thank you for your lovely words on getting older and learning to love the life you have. Thank you especially for touching on not having children in what can feel like a “mommy-crazy” world. I think this topic is not talked about enough, and I know that I (and other childless by chance women) appreciate the mention.

  31. Amy in StL says:

    Your article struck a note with me as well. All my coworkers and friends are either a lot younger or have a family. Missing out on family life does sting sometimes. I wanted a family and I’ve finally accepted it wasn’t meant to be for me. I also don’t feel 44 most days. I do sometimes find myself amazed at how many people are younger than me though. And I’ve also found that I’m wearing makeup more than I used to. It was nice to not feel alone in this aging thing for a moment.

  32. Adrien says:

    Love the piece you wrote about turning 50. I’m 42 and have been going through some of the same struggles and it’s comforting to know that things can/will get better. The advice about not mourning the life you didn’t get is SO good. So good.

  33. Krissy says:

    I am turning 36 in two months and closing the gap on 40 is causing me considerable panic. I am single, hate my job and still very much trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life. I look around and see that everyone else I know seems secure in their choices ( or they are good at faking it) and I feel just as lost as I did at 25. It is always good to read that having things fall into place before you are 30 doesn’t happen for everyone. We are all on different paths and forcing your life into deadlines can be defeating. Thanks for sharing this.

  34. Teresa says:

    Lovely essay. Congrats.

  35. Mamavalveeta03 says:

    Kim, that was a beautiful, honest, and courageous post. As one who has been down the dark road, I seek out others who are authentic. Who has time to waste on people that want to shape us into THEIR vision? I’m me, and I’m moving forward at 54!